Right and Wrong

One day after a staff meeting in which a manager had publicly dressed down a coworker, a wise colleague turned to me and said, “You can’t make anyone smart by calling him stupid.”  That truism served me well over the years in many ways.  In the case in point here, the unfortunate coworker had failed to meet a monthly goal.  The reason wasn’t really important; it was a stumble along the pathway to success.  Not catastrophic, and fixable. Our chastised compatriot knew how to address his shortcoming, and our manager was aware of that fact.  The demeaned individual never forgot his public flogging.  And apparently neither did I.

The point here is that the manager did not further anyone’s cause.  Not his own, because of the way he handled the situation.   Not the employee’s, because that person felt demotivated.  And not the rest of the team’s, since we had witnessed what we all feared could be our own fate. In the end, no one was helped.  This was a failure of leadership.  There was any number of ways that the manager could have handled the issue.  Public humiliation was one, to be sure, but hardly the most efficacious.

My colleague’s observation has other applications for leaders, as well.  It is often the case that team members will have varying (if not opposing) points of view on how to approach a problem. Resolving such differences can be dicey.  In these circumstances it is best to bear in mind that it is more important to prove that you are right rather than that others are wrong. 

So what does that mean?  It means that when a team is faced with options, various members will have differing perspectives.  Each may take a position that has its pros and cons.  It is tempting to point out the flaws in those opinions that are not yours.  This approach has two drawbacks.  First, it creates tension and sets up potential conflict that can get in the way of the team’s progress.  Second, it detracts from your own position, which should stand on its own merits and not on the shortcomings of others.  Your positive argument should help others see the strength of your position relative to their own.  The fact that you are “right” does not mean that everyone else is “wrong.”

This is not to say that the team’s decision might not eventually come down to determining whose position has the fewest drawbacks.  But starting from that place is not a good way to reach consensus.